blogging

I've been reluctant to blog lately. As I've explored many wonderful blogs written by friends and strangers I've suddenly become intimidated of the blog world. There is so much color, humor and creativity out there and I have none. I started this as a way to keep our far-away-family up to date on the boys' happenings. Now, I don't know who looks at my blog, but I know it is more friends than family at this point. I know everyone has a choice as to whether or not they decide to look at my blog and if they are bored by it they just don't need to look, but even so, I no longer want a boring blog. The problem is, I'm a fairly boring person. I used to be ok with that, but not so much anymore. I was contemplating my funeral a few months ago and had an interesting thought. What would it be like? I don't know of any funny stories to be told. No one would say, "Let's party..." or "Let's do something crazy because that's what Heidi would have done and wanted." No, it would be more like, "Let's sit and read a book and be quiet." I'm actually ok with that and like my quiet little space, but I'm still feeling the need for a little more humor and creativity in my life - I do get plenty of this from the boys, but I need some flowing out of me.

Don't worry family, I will keep blogging and keep you posted on the boys' accomplishments. If I find it, I may let some new found humor and creativity leak into my blog. However, that saying, "what you see is what you get" is not true with me. It's more like, "what you see is what I want you to see and the rest I'll keep hidden until I'm good and ready to let you see it." I would like to be more like the first quote, but that would take time and a lot of work on my part and I may never get there.

I do thoroughly enjoy our life here and find plenty of fun in it, it's just a creative and humorous expression of that life that I would like to find. Maybe I should just listen and learn from the boys more.

So, let me share with you the best time I had today...diagramming sentences with Tegan. Finding just the right line to put all the words on and witnessing the finished product was exhilerating.... I guess have a long way to go to find that creativity and humor.